Inspiration

I've never been the most regular blogger, but 9 months is a little excessive.

I came and looked around a few times, but then each time I rediscovered the previous post and fell in love again. Such quiet, intense passion consistent;y gives me reason to pause and reflect.

This year I resolve to spend more time on me. Spend more time, as opposed to the time I currently waste.

I will spend more money on me. Again, spend rather than waste.

I will be better at being happy. I will be more thoughtful. I will be more mindful.

This year will be a good year.

The Artist is Present

I think I really would have enjoyed this piece by Marina Abramovic at MOMA in 2010, even before this incredible moment.

The man's name is Ulay and he was the artist's lover and collaborator for many years before they decided to end their relationship in the late 80s. To properly honour their relationship their break-up involved them walking from opposite ends of The Great Wall of China and the meeting in the middle to hug, and then part.

Although they saw each other in the years between, she did not know he would be at this performance.

Just beautiful, honest and truly moving.

Discovered through whoorl.

Quick thoughts

The most reliable way to blog is in quick spurts - from my brain to your screen without an editing process in between. Writing, thinking, editing makes me procrastinate. Have I expressed myself in the best way? Does this manage to get my point across? Am I engaging my reader? Fact is -one reader or ten (i can tell you which I'm closer too) - my blogging frequency improves the less I think and the less I write. Sometimes it's frustrating because I know I want to get a much bigger point across than 3 minutes frantic typing allows. Even so, sometimes you just can't hold it in. Sometimes it's just better to go with the flow.

I guess it comes down to what you want your blog to be. For me it's become a record of things which were important to me at the time that I somehow thought the world should know. It's the thoughts that you need to released to the world but not necessarily to your friends. And sometimes it's the things you want people to know without having to actually tell them.

Fixin's

Well I wish I was a fixer

I would fix you up inside

I would build you a town if the world fell down

I wish I was that guy

- Jason Mraz, Frank D Fixer

Dear World,

Sometimes, it's not all about you.

Sometimes it's about me.

Sometimes it would be nice if you wiped your own @rse.

That is all.

Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen: still my favourite book of all time ever

I have so much to say about this book right now. So much that I want to eloquently phrase in more words than I have time for.

As I read it again, it's as though I'm discovering it for the first time. I am finding myself laughing out loud on the tube (utterly forbidden), highlighting paragraphs (unheard of), lip-syncing my favourite bits of dialogue (not recommended in public) and actively contemplating how much I am enjoying reading it every ten pages or so.

It may be a sad reflection on my life at the moment, but experiencing this book again is lifting my spirits, filling my heart and making me truly joyful. I love reading, I love books, and I have loved this book for most of my life but something special is going on right here and now.

2012 in a nutshell

JANUARY

Went for my annual ice-skate. Welcomed friends to MY house for the first time. Walked Earlsfield to Richmond again. Finally went to Bookclub. Went to Wildlife Photographer of the Year.

FEBRUARY

Spent Valentine's Day with Simona. Celebrated Auntie Margaret's 80th and visited the family up north. Ate 3 courses of cheese with B.

MARCH

Reluctantly went to an audition that was more than I could have ever imagined. Had afternoon tea at The Ritz for dinner. Attended a baptism. Threw my first dinner party. Celebrated the imminent arrival of a baby (NOT a baby shower). Made 'nappy cake' for aforementioned celebration. Visited friends and family in California. 


APRIL

Joked about heart attack and ended up in A&E. Heard about the arrival of Master H while waiting to be discharged to ward. Scared the A&E nurses by promptly bursting into tears. Attended an 80s themed 40th.


MAY

Margaritad at The Big Easy. Dedicated myself to introducing the phrase 'Totes Toots' into common vocabulary. Celebrated a birthday where L(&L) announce they're expecting. M&D arrived to look after me. One Man, Two Guvenors. A Night with John Irving.


JUNE

Queen's Jubilee. Learned to care (a little) about history in Berlin. M&D look after me (and my house) some more. Went North for the weekend to see friends and family. Went further north for another weekend to see more family. Matilda.


JULY

Introduced M&D to some of my best friends for the first time. Annual Chez Bruce visit. Relutantly said goodbye to M&D. Went to my first rehearsal. Learned to make sushi. Watched Olympic Opening Ceremony Technical Rehearsal.


AUGUST

Performed in front of a live audience of 80,000 + a UK TV audience of 7.6 million + a few more million around the world. Also, nearly got run over by Steven Hawking. Inspirational. Unforgettable.


SEPTEMBER

Visited Brighton Beach for the annual BBQ. Celebrated the end of summer. Travelled to Thailand for an idyllic wedding. Got upgraded (in a hotel) for the first time.


OCTOBER

Prematurely celebrated an adoption. Ate my first bacon naan. Saw Quartet at the LFF. Babysat. Went to an incredible Supperclub.

NOVEMBER

Had a Girls' Night In. Anxiously awaited the results of an adoption matching panel. Sobbed loudly in my open plan office when aforementioned adoption was approved. Dorylatalo entered the world. Had one last hurrah before the W family moved to New York. Spent a weekend in Paris eating and drinking (excessively).

DECEMBER

Saw Jason Mraz at The O2. Had Christmas lunch at my local with (ex)work buddies followed by Sticky Toffee Pudding at mine. Farewelled G&S's life as they knew it. Annual fancy dress party. Christmas with the Gang. Christmas Curry. Requiem. Met my godson. The Ginger Ninja arrived. Afternoon tea at The W with J&S. ChrisHtmas with the world's most adorable elf. New Year's Eve.