Friday 29 October 2010

Still here ...

Nothing much happening. Lots of news to catch up on though ... I haven't even finished writing about last Christmas yet.

So many things, so little time, so little motivation. I need to make this my project this year methinks.

Ah well, off to the first of many Halloween parties. I'm going as a witch. How original.

xxxooo

Thursday 9 September 2010

Gone crackers

As I nibble on free hommus (bought for a cancelled staff meeting) and cream crackers (left over from a previous staff meeting) - oh the small pleasures of admin staff! - I find myself following through a little ritual.

One picks up the cream cracker and holds it on the sides with the face of the cracker towards you. One carefully analyses the central lines of holes to see which bisector has so slightly longer holes along its length; only an amateur would think that all holes are made equal. One arranges the cracker so this ever-so-slightly-longer-holed line runs vertically between one's nimble fingers. The next step is pure art: gently move one's thumb (on the front of the cracker) and one's fingers (to the rear of the cracker) further towards the central line and when reaching the optimum point flex the cracker away from one until it releases a resounding snap. Experts in the field will be left with a perfectly broken cracker in two perfectly equal halves. Amateurs will have a crumbly diagonal line, or something that looks similar to the perfect break but with flaws only visible to the expert eye.

I'd been doing this for a few minutes without thinking, when all of a sudden the thought struck me: "my, that's a perfectly cracked cream cracker in two perfect halves!"

I had a number of theories, but have come to the conclusion that my much beloved Grandpa has finally handed his cream cracking expertise over to me. Every lunchtime when we lived together, or when I visited, he would shake his head in dismay at the sight of my layman's attempts. Patiently he taught me his trade; eagerly I watched him prepare his crackers for an onslaught of spam or tongue.

While I'm sure he'd be proud of my latest achievement, I have no doubt that his ashes will be turning in their urn .... "Hommus?!"

Monday 9 August 2010

And then karma bites you on the bum

Yesterday evening I turned up very late (even later than usual) for dinner and ordered after everyone else. When the bill came, my little order wasn't on there and it looked like I might have been the lucky recipient of a free meal!

But after a millisecond or two, that 'never-was-Catholic-but-might-as-well-have-been' guilt complex kicked in and as we left the restaurant I stood patiently by the bar, holding everyone up and insisted that my meal hadn't been on the bill we paid, waited some more while the waitress did her best to find my order and then handed over my hard earned credit.

When I rejoined my friends their cries/whispers of "don't be silly, just leave!" had mellowed slightly to murmurs of "oh aren't you good then", but I knew that really they were glancing sideways at me with only one thought: "sucker!"

At the end of the day I would have loved a freebie especially as it was a £4 snack, not a full meal, but I would have felt guilty about it for days and above and beyond every other reason, that could convince me. Are sleeplessness, a constant little voice in my ear and butterflies of the not-so-nice kind in my stomach really worth saving £4. Considering the fact I got twitchy, even as I handed over the dosh, simply because I hadn't added a tip, I think not.

So perhaps my moral compass is a little less cerebral than most people's - doing something i don't believe in results in the physical manifestation of a guilt complex - but that's not the end of the world. In a life that's full of indecision (I've often wondered if I should aim for decisiveness as a superpower, but I haven't been able to make up my mind), it's almost nice to know that when I believe in something it's not even a case of thinking about it - I'll just feel it in a non-emotional sense and I'll know.

To finally get to the point, this morning all this thinking and gut-churning finally made it's very clear moral point when I scored two free theatre tickets ... worth much more, fiscally and emotionally, than that measly £4.

I really should have thrown in a tip.

Wednesday 14 July 2010

Thinking time ...

is something I haven't had a lot of lately.

There's just so much pressure pushing from inside and without that I can barely find the time to laze on the sofa for hours in front of the TV.

The past week has found me fascinated with my ability to procrastinate. I've been left speechless with my ability to do nothing in times of great urgency.

I worry about my constant conviction that things will always be okay. Sure, they might be okay, but that friend who will only have the one hen night might appreciate you removing your head from under the desk and making some plans that somehow reflect how much you care about her.

Sitting in a group of designers tonight I found myself wondering why I'd never gone the whole creative route. Why I'd happily stayed on the sidelines bossing people around. Sure, it's because I'm bloody fantastic at telling people what to do and how I want them to do it. But perhaps it's because I never had to take the risk. I never had to fight for what I wanted. Though I may have had times when I didn't get what I want, I've never had to face any sort of real struggle.

A very good friend once said I made her feel comfortable about not having any siblings for her son. She thought I was a good example of a stable, confident, sucessful and well balanced only child. It'd break my heart to actually get around to telling her she was wrong.

And there ends my life synopsis. A grand reflection of what might have been if I could have been bothered.

Thursday 17 June 2010

Fuzzy Headed

It's not one of those instances when I'm thinking "Surely it was just yesterday that I was heading off to Atlanta?!" Right now I'm reasonably sure that I made that wonderful, hot, humid, soul-feeding trip sometime last year. And I'd also lay money down, convinced that the world has converted to a six-day working week.

But I have a feeling that's just my company.

I feel like I have so much more to say about the grey-tinted glasses that are obviously impeding my view of the world right now. I tell myself that if things weren't quite so grey, there would be paragraphs of eloquent prose discussing my current funk, an attainable work-life balance, plans for the future, visions of how life could be and how I could get there.

But the fog just keeps closing in, and I'm losing the ability to see even the plain and dismal.

I want to feel passionate about something again, and not just a passionate hatred.

And right when I can't take it any more I'm reminded of how things could be worse. How there are people suffering in much more vivid ways than my self-indulgent mope. That some people don't have the ability to get themselves out of the headspace I'm in. And then I get annoyed with myself. And then I get annoyed with myself getting annoyed with myself because even if my problems are completely first-world, middle class, white-collar problems, they are still mine and what's the point of being here if I don't listen to myself?

And then I think I should think less and just get back to work.

Tuesday 18 May 2010

Leaving on a jet plane ...

3 months later and we're finally off to Atlanta!

Can't believe it's almost here ... starts tomorrow evening with a Lingerie Shower/Bachelorette Party, then a Bridesmaids' Lunch, Rehearsal Dinner and at long last the big day on Saturday.

I'm so excited to see Katherine & Ollie tie the knot and I'm really looking forward to the proper Southern knees-up.

Then it's a tour of the south full of BBQs, belles and beautiful balmy weather.

Bring it on!

Thursday 29 April 2010

Advance Australia Fair

Australians all let us rejoice ...

I'm more proud than I thought possible to announce that as of today I'll be rejoicing alongside my Mum! After 35-ish years of living permanently in Australia (plus a few years before she was married - sacrebleu!) my dear mother decided to become an Australian citizen! We've got no idea where she came up with the idea or what spurred her on, but after months of forms, references, police checks and finally today's citizenship ceremony she's a true blue Aussie. I'm so proud I could burst!

Her first text to me as an Australian? "Goodday" ... I had to do a little bit of training ... "I think you'll find it's 'G'Day' now. Learn the lingo Sheila"

For we are young and free ...

thanks to the hundreds of thousand of men and women who have risked and given their lives for my right to live in freedom. I'm a little ashamed to say that last Sunday morning was the first ANZAC dawn service I've ever attended that wasn't on a work day. In fact, I'd never attended a dawn service before I moved to London and prior to that I'd never been to a service that I wasn't forced to sit through at school.

I'm not really the sort of people who's eternally grateful for the life I get to lead - I tend more towards immediate emotional gratification. But for the last few years I've been waking up at the crack of dawn, hopping on the night bus and dragging my sorry self to Hyde Park Corner all for the 5am service (not just for the tea and biscuits)!

For the next 40 minutes I'm filled with this indescribable pride and a most unusual sense of history. From living in a country with a past as far back as you can imagine, in a city with buildings I walk past every day that were built before anyone in Europe even imagined my homeland existed, to giving thanks for sacrifices that occurred within my grandfather's lifetime, for those people fighting battles every day as I make my way to work.

It doesn't matter what I think of the wars that are currently occurring, only that I'm grateful that there are, and always have been, people who are willing to fight for my right to work my guts out in an office all day in relative peace.

I'm a proud little Aussie this week. Don't get me wrong, I sang 'God Save the Queen' with pride as well, but as the British national election draws ever closer I can't help but been a teensy bit more proud of those valiant Anzacs at Gallipoli.

We will remember them. Lest we forget.

Friday 23 April 2010

A poem for the ones I love ...

Not every flower can say love.

But a rose can.

Not every plant survives thirst.

But a cactus can.

Not every vegetable can read.

But bless, look at you having a little go.


This made me stupidly happy today. I obviously take pleasure in the VERY little things these days!

xxxooo

Thursday 25 March 2010

I love you baaaaaaa-by!

Walked out the front door this morning to be greeted by one of the garbage collectors bellowing "You're just too good to be true" at the top of his lungs. As I made my way to the station the echoes of his singing followed me down the street.

I'm not saying I want the garbage men who collect at 4am to sing and wake me up. It was just a nice start to the morning is all.

Monday 8 March 2010

Somewhere beginning with 'L'

How often does YOUR flatmate take you away for a surprise weekend?


Plus some pretty amazing friends who could barely wait to surprise me (at 5.45 in the morning) with party hats and streamers.
Just a teaser for now ...

Sunday 21 February 2010

Give me an 'A'!

Just booked a trip to Atlanta!

Let the wedding season begin!

Actually, it begins at the start of May in Norfolk ... but I haven't booked the ticket up there yet...

Tuesday 16 February 2010

Tuesday Tribute

Friday Fanks fell by the wayside ... and it may be next Christmas before I get around to finishing my blogs about our trip to the states. Yet time forges ahead regardless and I just sit while life happens to me...

The countdown to my birthday continues. Although I don't think there'd actually be a countdown if it weren't for my parents persistance with the vicious rumour that I always create a massive countdown and drag my birthday out as long as possible. Hence the mystery flowers which they found highly amusing. And the pre-birthday card that arrived yesterday. Thus, the newly created tradition of a countdown is formed.

And, though they are on the list more often than not, that's yet another reason why I'm so very thankful for my parents, who love me, guide me and support me while never failing to take advantage of any opportunity to laugh at me.

I worry for their future grandchildren.

Wednesday 10 February 2010

Oh Look! Another interruption! ... perhaps I'm losing my mind ...

I may have mentioned earlier, that I will shortly be turning 30. It's not really bothering me, other than that I haven't got around to organising a celebration. But it's over a month away - i figure I have time.

And that's today's issue ... my birthday is over a month away ... so why oh why did I receive flowers at work today? Not just any flowers - birthday flowers. From my parents.

Now, there are a few people who are pretty much guaranteed to remember the anniversary of my birth. Me. My parents. The people at work who listen to me harp on about my birthday day after day. So you can see why I'm slightly confused to be the (very grateful) recipient of a lovely bunch of gerberas today.

The best thing I've got is that at the time they were delivered, in Australia it was 30 days until my 30th birthday.

Anyone else got a clue?!

Monday 1 February 2010

I interrupt this incessant blogging *cough*

to announce that my parents have gone on holiday for the next month and will be neglecting me unless they're in one of the few and far between spots with mobile reception, or if they can find a payphone at the exact point in time I happen to be sitting next to my home phone.

I know I'm nearly 30 but I'm just a wee bit gutted.

Tuesday 19 January 2010

Christmas in the US Part 2: Monterey Bay

A cup of tea and we're on the road! Well, we're on our way to the car hire place to get me put on as an additional driver ... this experience reminds us of what really annoys us about each other - it's nice to be back together.

On the road again and we miss our first big turn! Not to worry, we're in Santa Monica and I could lead us out of this blindfolded ... on the road again ... we paused in Santa Barbara for lunch. It's late and we've got a lot of driving ahead of us! Back on Highway 1, then the back of 101 and before you know it we're driving through Salinas before arriving in Monterey. I'm excited because we're staying in a hotel (accommodation without bunk beds is a treat for me!) and we're right in the Old Town, just off the main drag down to the bay.

The following morning we discover one of the best cafes we've ever eaten in (Wild Plum). Finally everyone agrees that the long drive was worth being able to wake up in Monterey. The weather's looking dodgy so first point of call is Macy's for some sensible shoes, but alas there's none to be had (or I'm too picky). Then we start our self guided walking tour of Monterey Historic State Park. Lucky I bought Mum & Dad a Lonely Planet on California because state budget cuts mean that most of the places on our route (including the one where you get the map) are closed because there's no funding. I'm quite surprised at how appalled I am - California, what has become of thee since I left you?! Nevertheless, we continue on Lizzie's guided tour of Historic Monterey, pausing midway for bad coffee.



We get bored of walking so we hop back in the car and head down to Cannery Row. It's touristy, but there are hidden gems - the workers huts, the Wing Chong grocery store, 'Doc' Ricketts memorial. We have lunch in one of the old canneries and subsequently get soaked in the pouring rain so we call it quits and finish the afternoon with a drive, a read and happy-hour of course.
Dinner is my treat and we go to Passionfish which is wonderful. Even more wonderful because the wine is at cost price so we get an amazing bottle for $20! The food lives up to the reputation and we're lucky that it's a Monday night so it's not too crowded and noisy.

Morning brings out the sun and shows off the flame-leafed tree in our courtyard - what a farewell. Then it's off to 17 mile drive, Pebble Beach, the Lone Cypress and down to Carmel. Another average coffee, followed by a bit of shopping, nosing at the weirdly quaint houses and then ... yep, it's on the road again!

Monday 18 January 2010

Christmas in the US Part 1: Fa LA LA LA LA ...

I land, I'm collected from the airport and it's like I've never left. I manage to stay awake until Ande gets home. I get in trouble for not keeping my eyes open during a fascinating film which I can't remember the name of. The kids lets my go have a nap while he eats dinner.

Mike collects me and we head to Venice for a great dinner with Stuart and Bianca. It's the same every time - we eat and drink too much, we talk constantly, Stuart drills me on what I'm doing with my life, Stuart picks on Mike, we get excited about being asked for ID, we talk and talk and talk until we're sober enough to drive home. This visit's poison was Chianti and 'killer garlic rolls' - they were amazing.

The wine knocks me out so I have a great night's sleep. Friday morning sees Jackie & I heading to PS#1 for Ande's Christmas Concert. For the first time ever I understand why people think it's strange to have a warm Christmas ... I've obviously been away long enough now! We stretch our necks for a better view, we shield ourselves from the sun, we wave proudly, we point and laugh at the embarrassing parents - it's a new world for me and I love it!

Ande has the afternoon of school so we go for a lunch date. I just about manage to convince him that a lunch date doesn't necessarily mean that we're dating. We sit in the next booth to Jackie and her lunch companions and then we take ourselves shopping - straight to Puzzle Zoo, then the Apple store and finally Barnes & Noble.

Siggy has to work so the three of us meet him for dinner and then head home to talk and talk and talk while the kid sleeps.

Saturday morning brings a visit to the Farmers Market and a solid session of gingerbread house decorating - a first for all of us. We then head for a pedicure and then to Santa Monica Pier for Kooza - the latest from Cirque du Soleil. It's a great show - even better because it's Ande's first time and he spends the whole performance amazed. I watch this from one row back and enjoy it more than the show.

Jack's heading out to a party so we pick out a dress for her and she gets glammed up while we prepare shabu-shabu. We spend the next hour cooking and eating and fighting over the best bits. I find it hard to believe that just 5 years ago this life was so unknown to me, that LA was a city I'd briefly visited many years earlier when right now it feels like home, like I don't belong anywhere else.

The night is still young when Jackie bails from her party and comes home to us. Siggy heads to bed and Jack and I talk and talk and talk some more. I miss this so much.

Morning comes; we have special pancakes for a sad day. Mum and Dad arrive and I'm so excited to see them again and for them to finally meet Jackie and Ande - how has it taken so long? My bags are packed, I've left the presents under the tree and Dad's anxious to get on the way ... I leave the unfinished gingerbread house and a little part of me behind...

Friday 15 January 2010

Happy New Year and all that ...

So it seems I had a proper holiday ... nearly a month between posts and I only feel a little guilty. Prepare to be inundated...

But first, I feel like I should reflect on the year gone by. It's gone so quickly, and really so uneventfully.

And really, I just want to look ahead.