Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Thinking time ...

is something I haven't had a lot of lately.

There's just so much pressure pushing from inside and without that I can barely find the time to laze on the sofa for hours in front of the TV.

The past week has found me fascinated with my ability to procrastinate. I've been left speechless with my ability to do nothing in times of great urgency.

I worry about my constant conviction that things will always be okay. Sure, they might be okay, but that friend who will only have the one hen night might appreciate you removing your head from under the desk and making some plans that somehow reflect how much you care about her.

Sitting in a group of designers tonight I found myself wondering why I'd never gone the whole creative route. Why I'd happily stayed on the sidelines bossing people around. Sure, it's because I'm bloody fantastic at telling people what to do and how I want them to do it. But perhaps it's because I never had to take the risk. I never had to fight for what I wanted. Though I may have had times when I didn't get what I want, I've never had to face any sort of real struggle.

A very good friend once said I made her feel comfortable about not having any siblings for her son. She thought I was a good example of a stable, confident, sucessful and well balanced only child. It'd break my heart to actually get around to telling her she was wrong.

And there ends my life synopsis. A grand reflection of what might have been if I could have been bothered.

No comments: