There's "30! I'm turning 30! Do you know all the things a person is supposed to do before they're 30?! There's a list. There must be a list somewhere. Everyone 29 year old on the planet is reviewing their list and checking the boxes and I don't even know what it looks like. Can I write my own list based on the thing i HAVE done, throw in a few things that I'm likely to do in the near future and then bask in my own self created glory? No? Is that a thing that only a desperate, unsuccessful, unsatisfied, crazy person would do? Should I just accept my lot in life and be done with it? There is only so much a girl can do in five months ... But I should be trying harder! If-I'd-only-tried-harder-I-might-not-have-found-myself-in-this-situation! Breathe."
And then there's "Breathe again. Who really cares about 30? Does anyone really think that worrying about turning 30 is going to make a shred of difference to whether or not it happens? Plus, it's no different to 29 or 31 really. I don't like birthdays anyway so of course I'm not going to be keen on this one because, well, it's still 5 months away and I'm already thinking about it. And that's not 'thinking' about it the way I do on the 13th of every month. It's proper grown-up thinking about where to have drinks and what I should wear and if there's a way of celebrating all day long seeing as though it will be on a Saturday and I don't get to be at work all day. Is there really any other reason to worry about my next birthday?"
Split personality you see. Both of which honestly took over my brain during the typing of this post. I figure I should just embrace the panic. Not because I'm approaching a momentous birthday but because I'm obviously taking the opportunity to evaluate who I am and where I'm going. I can do that any day so it might as well be now. . Why wait until the anniversary of my birth to start making changes?
First I have to go play with my god-kittens. Don't even think about telling me I haven't got my priorities straight!
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